samedi 24 juillet 2010

Manhood lesson

Some of you are maybe familiar with Jean Claude my school driving monitor, here is a nice piece of today’s lesson I'd like to share with you:


-Nick, why the fuck are you always stuck in second gear? Do you see this fucking sign? It says 50 km per hour, not 35 Okay?
-It’s a speed limit, I can drive under 50.
-Oh here it is, mister smart ass, I’m gonna cry. Now come on, speed this shit up. Do you know Steeve Mc Queen? Do you know Superman? That’s the kind of man I want you to be on the road.
Now try to be that man. Why wouldn’t you be such a man?
-I’ll try sir.
-Don’t call me sir, you can call me Jean Claude, I’m your pal, it’s been what, forty hours we’ve been driving together. I would have already banged the shit out of you if you’d been a girl. But now, considering the way that you drive I’m starting to wonder. Do you have a pair of balls?
-Uh yeah
-I hope so, because if you keep on driving this slow, I’ll chop yours off, put them in an ice bucket and give it to a charity like “Balls for all” if you know what I mean. You gotta be proud of it.
-Ok
-Great, now show me your balls.
-…
-Come on grab your balls!
-Like this (me grabing my crotch while driving).
-Yeah now say it “I’m a man!”
-I’m a man.
-Shit no you faggot, louder.
-I’m a man !
-Fuck yeah, do you smoke?
-No
-Oh shit, it’s exactly what it’s all about. Come on, have one.
-I’m driving.
-So pull over, right here.
-What?
-Pull the fuck over now, that’s an order, that’s an exercise. Do it.
-OK, here we are. 
-Come one, have one. Here’s a light.
-I feel like my head is spinning.
-Don’t you feel more relaxed?
-Hum, kinda.
-That’s what the deal is all about. Now drive fucking fast.
-Like this?
*Motor roaring*
-Yeah man! Don’t you feel so free and so happy you could die and still don’t give a shit?
-Yes, but someone wants to cross the road.
-Oh? That girl? She’s ugly anyway, don’t let her pass.
-Ok.
-Well, end of the lesson; let’s go back to the school.
-Right on
-Ok, now I’m gonna give you some homework.
-What?.
-Yes, what day is it, Friday or Saturday?
-Saturday.
-Perfect. Here is your homework: find a geaorgeous girl and do yourself a favor. Bang the shit out of her, and never call her again. Next week, you’ll tell me if your balls are working. Thats all I want to know as far as I’m concerned. I’m worried about you man.
-Ok, have a nice week end.
-Thanks, you too buddy.